Theledge.net

What's taking all our time?

There have been a few questions about why updates are so infrequent. I offer a pictorial explanation, since that apparently equals some large number of words and takes significantly less time.

Only those closest to you.

You are adorable in your current flux state; you bounce between four and sixteen years old at surprising speed.

Recently other people’s feelings have become important, especially since the social groups at school change so quickly and the smallest actions can be construed as hurtful or mean.

Today, shortly after stepping on your mom’s foot and struggling with an apology, you mentioned that a friend from school had hurt your feelings.

You mother told you she was sorry to hear that, and, being fully aware that you give as good as you get, asked you “Do you ever hurt anyone’s feelings?”

With every ounce of truth you could summon you responded “No, just my family.”

That quiet moment in the morning before the world wakes up.

I love the that quiet period in the morning, right before the world wakes up. That moment after Alphie has climbed in our bed, but before she is insisting on watching PBS kids, where Bettie is laying quietly on Angie’s arm, and Angie is awake but hasn’t had to even lift her head, let alone gotten up to feed the little one.

I love that moment where I can look at my wife and say “You’ve put together a pretty awesome family.”

And she can look back at me and say “I’m just glad only one of us shits in the bed.”

It was more of a planning meeting than a story, but I am glad you liked it.

You are tremendously sweet, little Alphie. Even when you are misbehaving.

This evening you had a little trouble going to bed. Two hours after your bed time you were not only still awake, but standing in front of me asking if I would come upstairs, give you a hug, and turn on some lullaby music.

I told you that I would give you a hug immediately and that you then needed to go upstairs, clear all the books off of your bed, get all your stuffed animals and pillows arranged in a fashion that allowed you to sleep, and climb in bed. I further explained that while you did that I would finish up a few things and then I would come upstairs, turn some music on, tuck you into your covers, and give you another hug.

And you smiled at me and said “I was hoping there was another hug at the end of that story.”

I'm not the one to ask about turning the other cheek...

Today you brought home a chant from school. Apparently, the kids at school tease one another by saying:

Made you look, made you look, now you’re in the baby book.

And you indicated that you get teased with it from time to time.

We’ve worked on this a little bit before, and you had two suggestions to solve it:

“Perhaps I can ask them not to tease me.”
“Perhaps I could write them a card that I take into school that says ‘Please don’t tease me; that words you say to me are not nice words, please don’t say them ever again, thank you, your best friend, Alphie.’”

You then proceeded to narrate the creation of cards to each of your friends at school, with varying levels of language that reflected your various relationships (from “You are my best friend because you don’t tease me, thank you!” to “Please don’t hit and punch me, your friend Alphie”).

From my own experience, I don’t believe asking a bully to stop has ever been effective. The formality might be required for political purposes (or maybe just to ensure you feel you tried), but I have found that the only way to stop people from bullying you is to show them that there will be real consequences to them trying.

Of course, four years old is a little too young to learn that lesson, so I had to nod, smile and tell you I thought those ideas were great and that you would have to see if your friends listen to you.

However, the first thing that ran through my head was:

Sweetie, when they start teasing you, I want you to look them in the eye and yell back at them as loud as you can “Made you yell, made you yell, now you’re going straight to hell.”

You could say I have a small problem judging “fair” retaliation. In my defense, it is a family trait that both your Aunt Liz and Uncle Luke have as well. (Oh, and your mom might have a small drive for “justice”, too.)

I am happy you have shown me it is not instinctual. However, I’m sure that someday you’ll learn the value of being the craziest motherfucker in the room.

For better or for worse.

Annual trip to someplace near hell (with a family picture)

This small, outcast family of yours has very few traditions. Perhaps it is because of the pragmatic outlook of your mother, or because ~~of the lobotomy that your father had after a tragic accident with a pillow and a meatloaf~~ your father is extremely boring. Or perhaps the lack of traditions might just be a manifestation of the failed struggle to assert an identity when neither of your parents have strong social skills.

Or your parents might just be really, really tired.

This lack of traditions means that time passes without much remark in your house, with long stretches of uncountable days and nights being unremarkable except for changes in weather, remarkable news events, and perhaps the occasional purchase of some electronic device.

There is, however, an extremely important tradition that occurs in the weeks before Halloween. Your family, together, must venture out to a pumpkin patch.

Continue reading "Annual trip to someplace near hell (with a family picture)"

Horoscope

So, your horoscope in the local paper today read:

You want to be helpful, Libra, but by helping someone else you could be neglecting the person closest to you. Open up your eyes before you act and see who it might be affecting.

I am away at work most days while you and your mother stay home, so I have no idea what you do all day. I had no idea your life was so complicated. Until I read that I assumed your days were some kind of variation on your nights, in which you sleep (but only on someone) and eat, and poop.

A beautiful bassinet

Picture taken by Courtney.

This beautiful bassinet was made for you by your Grampa Rick. Amazingly, you have been happy to sleep in it from time to time. Unfortunately, it isn’t at night or any time that might afford your mother more sleep, but anytime you sleep without being on someone or in someone’s arms is a pretty nice break from the norm.

You are still young, though. We will give you some time to learn.

Big Sister

Peeking Out

You and your sister

Hi Bettie,

I wanted to tell you a little bit about how you and your sister have been doing today. But, since I am really tired, I am going to use some pictures, which are roughly equivalent to some number of words that you can’t count to (yet).

Before we left to go to the hospital last night, this was how your sister said goodbye:

And this was how she looked when you two spent some time together today:

I can’t guarantee that your relationship is going to always be this smooth, but it is a great start.

The girls...

A bit of Bettie

Continue reading "A bit of Bettie"

You arrived to visit your baby sister in style today

And you rocked the look well!

2-10-11... Again!

At 6:43 am, on September 28th, 2009, Bettie “insert real name here” Groeninger was born.

She is 7lbs, 13oz and 19 inches long.

Mom got beat to heck by a fast delivery (no time for an epidural!) but is doing really well.

Thank you all for your love and support!