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This post is for posterity. Hopefully sometime in the future it will show you both that even at a young age your were able to play together and have fun.

This small, outcast family of yours has very few traditions. Perhaps it is because of the pragmatic outlook of your mother, or because of the lobotomy that your father had after a tragic accident with a pillow and a meatloaf your father is extremely boring. Or perhaps the lack of traditions might just be a manifestation of the failed struggle to assert an identity when neither of your parents have strong social skills.

Or your parents might just be really, really tired.

This lack of traditions means that time passes without much remark in your house, with long stretches of uncountable days and nights being unremarkable except for changes in weather, remarkable news events, and perhaps the occasional purchase of some electronic device.

There is, however, an extremely important tradition that occurs in the weeks before Halloween. Your family, together, must venture out to a pumpkin patch.