So, we finally hit the part of the Terrible Twos that I have been dreading. You are starting to experiment with being mean.
I saw it coming a couple of weeks ago when I took you to school. You walked in as normal, went straight to wash your hands and then sat down at the table for breakfast. There were an unusually large number of kids at the table that morning, but you were nonplussed and sat quietly waiting for your turn.
A little girl sitting two seats down, who is a good friend of yours, turned to you and yelled “Alphie you’re silly.”
You didn’t react, really, you just sat and waited.
She yelled it again “Alphie you’re silly.”.
And again “You’re silly, Alphie .”
The emphasis was a little more on the silly each time.
And again she yelled it, “Alphie you’re silly.”.
You didn’t get it. You looked at her puzzled. I could see you trying to figure out what action you had taken that was so silly, but you knew you weren’t doing anything silly.
I knew as soon as I saw it that you were headed into new territory. Previously all of your experiences were grounded in a physical realm, with nearly direct cause and effect.
Here was a behavior that had nothing to do with what you were specifically doing. And the other little girl sure looked like she was having fun!
Then the other night you used the word “poopy-head” in front of your mother. You grinned at her because you knew it was forbidden. She impressed upon that it was not nice, and we have not heard it again.
And then last night you were walking about the house muttering to yourself, which is slightly unusual. I asked you what it was you were saying and you didn’t answer me, but just kept walking.
A few seconds later you said “You stupid” to no-one in particular.
I told you that was not a nice word, and that you should not use it and you again said “You stupid”. And again, it was to no-one in particular.
This time your mother said “Alphie, that word is not nice and if you continue to say it you will go in timeout.”
At this point the dog ran away and hid, because he hates confrontation.
But you again said “You stupid”. Again it was not directed at anyone in particular.
So your mother picked you up and set you on the stair and told you that you were in timeout for using the bad word “stupid” and that you must apologize to come out of timeout.. You burst into tears and began clamoring for your mother, but made no move to apologize.
So your mother again told you that you must apologize.
When you apologize it is nearly heartbreaking. You say “I’m sorry!” with such downheartedness that it feels like we have threatened to abandon you to the forces of nature, with only the dog to take care of you.
And so, with this broken voice and with tears swelling in your eyes, you grabbed hold of your mother’s leg, peered up into her face and said “I’m sorry, stupid”.
I know you were just upset and you got a little confused, but do you see how that doesn’t work?
But it is a pretty good illustration as to why we don’t want you using that word.
