I hate Christmas. I know hate is a strong word, and I have tried to find a better word to describe my feelings towards this time of year, but I haven’t been successful. ‘Loathe’ seems too filled with dread, and I do not dread these times. ‘Detest’ seems too pretentious, and I do not believe my feelings on the subject are worthy of special notice or consideration from anyone. I do not ‘scorn’ Christmas, nor do I feel ‘disdain’ towards it. I actually find it extremely worthy.
But I more than dislike Christmas. I intensely dislike Christmas. I feel hostile to Christmas itself, as if it has done me some great wrong, even though I know it has not. I, as I said before, hate Christmas.
As Charlie Brown said, in a
Charlie Brown Christmas, “I think there must be something wrong with me, Linus. Christmas is coming but I'm not happy. I don't feel the way I'm supposed to feel. I always end up feeling depressed.”
I do not wish to be saddened by Christmas. So instead, I will hate it.
I do not doubt its value. I especially enjoy seeing friends and family, as is often our tradition. Nothing in the world, not even Christmas, could diminish the joy I repeatedly find in the people who surround us. I enjoy that people are happy during this time of year, and I enjoy the fact that most people get more time off, which they can use to enjoy themselves. I certainly enjoy receiving gifts. I love, even more, giving gifts to those I love and cherish.
And I do not believe I am a grinch. I certainly do not want to rob other people of the holiday spirit. I certainly do not want to prevent other people from celebrating the holidays in whatever way they wish. And I do not respond harshly or bitterly towards those that show me the “holiday spirit” because they are being nice, and I happen to like it when people are nice. I honestly enjoy other people being happy, and I enjoy other people enjoying Christmas.
I know that I
loved Christmas as a child. I know that I, of all my family, was infected by the Christmas spirit each year. I have caroled, I have decorated, I have cooked Christmas cookies, and left my little imperfect cake-like biscuits out for Santa with a glass of milk. I have made gingerbread houses, and I have decorated trees. I have waited to open gifts and I have stolen down early to the tree because the excitement was too great. And I wish I could feel that way again.
But I find, year after year, that I cannot. I find putting up lights gaudy and irritating. I find most of my neighbor’s attempts to decorate, especially those of businesses, even worse. I find the continual regurgitation of Christmas songs and holiday cheer, without any new expression of the season, to be more irritating than chapped lips. I find purchasing a tree a horrendous pain, one worse than buying a car, and I find driving it home and putting it up a tremendous burden. I find that most of the actions of Christmas bring no real changes to my life, and feel empty and meaningless, like hollow tradition. We do these things because we have always done them, and not because they warm our lives. The only joy I derive from going through these motions is that my wife loves Christmas, and these little things can make her happy.
Angie and I discussed this, as couples are want to do when one of them is moody and irritated. Angie says she is excited about Christmas, but oscillates between feeling as if it is all too much and feeling like she needs to reach out and seize hold of the opportunity, since it is only offered once a year. I completely understand that feeling.
I think it is that feeling, the feeling like this is only offered once a year, that is why I hate Christmas. I would rather be allowed to buy people presents anytime I like (or whenever I see something I want to give them) rather than having to wait for the end of the year rush. I would rather be allowed to decorate my house anyway I want throughout the whole of the year, rather than only being allowed to put lights and blinking things up during the silly season. I would love to be able to get together with friends and family and laugh and joke and play whenever the mood seizes me, rather than wait until a bitter cold holiday to have an excuse. I would rather that people reach out and seize everyday as an excuse to enjoy themselves, everyday as an excuse to improve the lives of those around them, instead of holding off to cram it all into one day of the year.
Please note that I have not, until now, made mention of religion or Christianity. I do not believe either drives our national celebration of Christmas, er , the “Holidays”. Personally, I am ambivalent as to whether it should, though I fully understand that people with greater faith than I believe the holiday and religion are inseparable. To those people I would submit that most people who celebrate the holidays without a true celebration of Christ still do good things, and perhaps you should not be bothered (as most people are not) by someone simply saying “Happy Holidays”. And to the people who do not believe in Christ at all, I would submit that the holidays are a time of cheer and rejoicing, and maybe you can join in the celebration without rejoicing for exactly the same reasons, and that you might accept a “Merry Christmas” as someone saying that they like you enough to wish you well in the way they feel best.
After all, if someone like me, who hates Christmas, can enjoy the fact that other people would like me to be happy, maybe those who actually like the stupid season can get along for a little while.
Those who believe in Christmas as a holy day probably found my phrase “empty and meaningless, like hollow tradition” most striking, and would no doubt offer to me that Christ is my answer. Unfortunately, they miss my point. Christ is one reason to celebrate Christmas, but he has nothing to do with Christmas trees, or gift exchanges, or Santa Claus, not in any real sense. He certainly has nothing to do with Christmas shopping, or most of our Christmas carols, or hanging increasingly gaudy lights from our houses, or buying big inflatable dioramas to place on our lawns. If one was to celebrate a quiet Christmas in remembrance of Christ without the modern trappings one would hardly participate in Christmas at all. (And to those of you who do, I say well-done!) My hatred of Christmas does not come from anything missing in my life, or from a dislike of Christian celebration, but from my increasing frustration at watching so much of our nation beat itself silly trying to accomplish the traditions of the season.
As Linus (with the help of
great writers) reminds Charlie Brown, more earnest than I ever could, “Glory to God in the highest, and on Earth peace, goodwill toward men.” When it comes to religion, some people tend to over-emphasize the Glory to God. Not enough people, religious or not, over-emphasize peace and goodwill towards men.
